Monday, September 28, 2009

How hot is it?

A FLORIDA BLESSING

·If you are not a resident of FLORIDA or never have lived in the hot, humid Southeast you may not understand the weight of this blessing!

· Bless this house, oh Lord, we cry.
· Please keep it cool in mid-July.
· Bless the walls where termites dine,
· While ants and roaches march in time.
· Bless our yard where spiders pass
· Fire ant castles in the grass.
· Bless the garage, a home to please
· Carpenter beetles, ticks and fleas.
· Bless the love bugs, two by two,
· the gnats and mosquitoes that feed on you.
· Millions of creatures that fly or crawl,
· in FLORIDA, Lord, you've put them all!!
· But this is home, and here we'll stay,
· So thank you Lord, for insect spray.
·
· HOLD IT............there's more.....................
·
· YOU KNOW YOU ARE IN FLORIDA IN JULY WHEN. . .
· The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground..
· The trees are whistling for the dogs.
· The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
· Hot water now comes out of both taps.
· You can make sun tea instantly.
· You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron!
· The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a little chilly.
· You discover that in July it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car.
· You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.
· You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
· You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.
· Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"
· You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
· The potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.
· Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying boiled eggs.
· The cows are giving evaporated milk. Ah, what a place to call home.
· God Bless FLORIDA !!

11 comments:

~Oct said...

I love this ... and send some of that heat my way!

mo.stoneskin said...

I don't cope well with the heat, hate it in fact, as I do the way ants march in time, one day they will take over the world as we shelter from the heat unawares.

tricia said...

This made me smile-- I lived in the Clearwater area for several years in the 70s.

Beth said...

I've spent plenty of time in Florida, so I know how true this is! (I've had fire ants in my pants...not fun!) We love going to our timeshare in July, but it's right on the ocean so we get a nice breeze. Going into town is a different story!

Char said...

Oct- Its been 90s, humid and awful for 6 mos...be glad to send you some.

mo- I usually don't complain much about the heat. But, enough! I can't take the cold, though.

Tricia- I'm quite a bit south of there. It usually has cooled off a little by now....waiting.

Beth- BWAHAHA, fire ants in your pants?? I've only been bitten on my feet and legs, but those little buggers hurt like hell, and I am super sensitive to them. (I won't ask how you got them there.) lol

Maria said...

My partner and I once visited her sister, who lives in Florida, in AUGUST.

I thought we were going to die. Her sister was house hunting at the time and we went with her. I LOVED going inside the houses just to get in from the heat.

DB said...

I never lived there but I have worked there often. I used to stand in the shadow of a tree just to be miserably hot instead of slowly roasting. I was glad to come back north, where we have our own brand of nasty critters.

I met a gentleman in Sarasota who said he moved down there from Alabama becasue he didn't like cold weather. To each his own.

DB

bernthis said...

I lived in Louisiana. i get it, boy do I get it

buffalodick said...

Did you retire there, or always been a resident? I'm a four seasons kind of guy, for better or for worse- usually for worse!

Char said...

Maria - I live about an hour south of Sarasota, and you expect those kinds of temps in July and August.
But I think it has forgotten to
turn into fall.

DB - I know, I thought I was getting out of the bad weather, too. But still prefer it to the cold.

Jessica - Didn't realize you'd lived in Lousiana. I'm sure it has its share of hot amd humid, too.

Buffalo - I bought this home for a
winter retreat, but circumstances
caused me to move here about 8 yrs
ago. I don't like cold, but I sure do miss fall in KY. I don't like hurricanes, either. But I got to experience 'Charley' in 04. So,
I guess its a trade off from snow to heat, tornado to hurricane, etc.

♥ Braja said...

Boiled eggs and evaporated milk had me laughing...:)